Tidus' great adventure
by Abc 123 Shining brightly above
Summary: A simple little story about when Tidus causes mayhem and destruction to the poor world of Spira
1. Weed Killer!

Tidus' Great Adventure  
  
Weed Killer!  
  
We ran up the steps (all 1000 of them!) and Wakka in a posh matter-of-fact voice said "The great Lord Ohalland trained on these steps, ya.  
  
'Shut up.' I thought to myself.  
  
Then I whispered to Lulu (who had WAY too many belts!) "Will this guy ever shut up?"  
  
We got to the top and a giant cabbage with two giant carrots (with broccoli on top) that Wakka called 'Sinspawn' (there he goes again!) burst out of the ground and tried to poke me to death!  
  
I decided to get revenge and stuck my finger up at it (the stupid game blurred it out! ARRGH!) And it didn't work so Lulu threw a teddy at it.  
  
The teddy did absolutely nothing so Lulu cast fire on it. The carrots sucked it up and whipped her ass.  
  
She giggled, asked it out on a date but it refused and she ran off crying!  
  
Yuna ran up to it and gave it a lick of a lollipop she carries everywhere ('Why?')  
  
Then she swung it about and a bird flew out of the sky.  
  
When it landed the carrot strangled it and it died!  
  
Strange green things (probably toxic waste) flew out of it so Wakka hit the cabbage with a bouncy ball.  
  
The cabbage farted on us and we all nearly fainted.  
  
Kimahri came out with the heavy artillery (WEED KILLER!!!)  
  
He shot the carrots and the cabbages leaves fell off.  
  
Under the leaves was.  
  
A GIANT BRUSSEL SPROUT!!!  
  
I ran up to it with my sword and chopped off its head.  
  
Before Yuna went for the fiery dog thingy at the temple we all ate brussel sprouts using the fire which Lulu had made using a combination of fire magic an her teddy!  
  
That was fun wasn't it!!!  
  
The usual disclaimer stuff about me not owning anything about FF10 apart from the game! 


	2. My Hen

Tidus' Great Adventure  
  
My'hen thingy!  
  
We lost at the blitzball game in err. Lucky Town.Place.Thing.Because the Aurok people were crap at it!  
  
I was the best player there but Keepa said he'd give me 10000 gil if I went off and let Wakka on.  
  
I tried to kill Keepa for not keeping his promise but Datto and Letty overpowered me with their crapness at Blitzball.  
  
We were winning 17 - 0 but when Wakka came, the score ended up as 17-54!  
  
Anyway, Yuna got the dog thing (which I christened Dog Thing) after Madonna and her slave pushed me down a big hole in the temple (I hit the lift when it was on its way back up. Ouch. my ass still hurts.)  
  
We are now just getting off the Old Road (a monster pushed us off a cliff. Probably my fault, I ran at it and chopped up its tongues) when two weird looking people came up to us, Latta and Guzzu the crusaders.  
  
"No entry. Top secret crusader business to defeat Sin using Sinspawn. No one must know."  
  
" No one must know? You just told us!" I said.  
  
'Isn't the crusader clever.' I thought.  
  
Then, a blue haired freak that exposed too much of his upper body, came up to us and said "Let them pass, I need them there."  
  
We were let in but I whispered to Auron " What is wrong with this world? Blue haired strip-teasers and scaredy-cat crusaders?"  
  
He said back "Oh shut up!"  
  
It turned out that the blue haired thing was called Seymour Gorilla (he was the leader of the gorillas!).  
  
We followed him through a rocky maze called Mushroom Rock (there were no mushrooms, sorry Yuna).  
  
We fell down a hole and found a treasure chest (who the hell would leave a treasure chest down a hole?), which opened using the mirror I stole from the Bitchson at the blitzball game and we got the weapon called Godhand  
  
Kimahri put it on and it got stuck! (Sorry, no AP for you Kimahri!).  
  
We used a weird lift to get back up and also used a lift made of what looked like a giant ironing board with all the pieces the wrong way round.  
  
Wakka totally refused to go on it so Lulu cast sleep on him to wake him up.  
  
I slashed him with my sword to wake him up and he needed seven phoenix downs and a hi-potion to revive him fully!  
  
We got to the command centre and Latta was having an argument with Guzzu about attacking Sin and dying sooner than expected!  
  
Sin attacked and we all rushed to find cover from its wobbly shield.  
  
The Old Bed attacked it with a laser and all my chicken friends died!  
  
Then it swum off.  
  
I dove in to see my Dad and half expected it to say: "Tidus, I am your father."  
  
Auron must have been drunk or something when he said that.  
  
Oh, wait what is in his white unmarked bottle?  
  
That was good, ya?  
  
I think I might do the next few chappies from someone else's POV.  
  
Maybe. 


End file.
